How To Approach Tall Girls

Our story begins, as it always does, with a woman.

She was sitting at the bar, sipping her drink. Sexy, blonde, with bangs that covered  her forehead and a cute button-nose, looking sleek and bored in a black form-fitting dress. And alone. All 6 foot something of her. Perfect.

I walked over, leaned against the bar, and ordered a drink. Then I turned to her.

“Hi, I’m Rami,” I said, using the world’s best opening line.

“I’m Tina,” she replied with a smile.

“You’re very cute, Tina,” I said, gazing into her in the eyes. “Too bad you aren’t taller.”

She paused, looking at me in disbelief. I smirked at her with a wink, and she pulled herself up to her full height. Definitely 6 foot something. Probably 1 or 2.

“Well I’m already way taller than you, short legs,” she said, putting her arms on her hips and trying very hard to loom over me.

“Short legs?!” I looked down at my feet. “You know, I’ve always said one’s legs are long enough, as long as they reach the ground.”

This time I got a big laugh. Why wouldn’t I, when I used a line from Thundercats?

Walking Tall

My name is Rami. I’m 5’8, and weight about 160lbs. And I have a confession to make: I love tall women.

I think they are damn sexy, especially if they’re taller than me. Add that to my list of strange fetishes, alongside the Pepto Bismol one.

However, as it turns out, a lot of men can’t handle the fact that a woman is taller than them. Apparently, it’s only okay if the heels come off and she’s their height or shorter.

In fact, chatting with a tall female friend of mine, I’ve discovered that she feels her height is a problem in her dating life. She’s ok with being taller than her boyfriend, but lots of boys aren’t. And it takes two to tango, baby.

The thing is, she’s not that tall. She’s only 6 foot nothing, but apparently that’s enough to mess everything up.

However, there is, as always, a silver lining to the problem. In her case, her height screens away the short guys that have low self-esteem. Anytime she’s approached by a man shorter than she is, she knows he’s got confidence in spades. The men she’s dated in the past were all secure and confident in themselves, so that they never felt awkward walking down the street with a taller woman on their arm.

It’s why she’s so in love with her current boyfriend, a 5’8 badass of a man.

Well folks, having dated and hooked up with many a tall(er) woman, I’m here to tell you two important things about my favorite long-legged beauties.

A Tall Order

Here’s a cool secret about tall women: they get approached by less men than your average girl. As such, if you’re a geek with brass balls, you’ve got a definite edge. Don’t ever be worried about approaching an Amazon. Even if she’s not into you, she’ll appreciate the attention.

Now, the sad thing is, most tall girls I’ve met have a slight self-esteem issue because of their height.They feel like freaks, and most dating advice websites will tell you to “never mention a tall girl’s height”.

Well, that’s a crock of shit. If you don’t bring it up, she’ll constantly be wondering if she’s too tall, and you’ll be thinking “tall girls are hot” the whole time.

Instead, address it immediately by doing two things:

First, tell her you find her attractive. That’s an easy one. Any compliment will do, as long as it’s not about her height.

Second, let her know her height works for you. Don’t harp on it, or constantly tell her how tall she is, or ask her if she’s part of a woman’s basketball team. Just mention it once. In my case, I always make a joke about her being kinda short for my taste, like I did with Tina. Ice broken, issue laid to rest, let’s move on into getting to know each other. Be careful though: don’t make the joke mean, or it’ll backfire and you’ll have angered the Amazon. Which, to be fair, is still kinda hot.

Once you’ve gotten over the initial approach, and addressed these two points, she’s just like any other girl. Good luck fellow geek!

Tall Tales

I asked a friend of mine why he’s not into tall girls.

“Dude, it’s obvious. My dick isn’t big enough.”

Whoa. Ok, let’s set one thing straight here: a woman’s height DOES NOT affect the size of her vagina.

I can’t stress enough how ludicrous my friend’s assumption is. All of the tall women I’ve been with had totally normal sized happy places.

If you really want to know the factors that affect a vagina’s size, here they are: genetics, arousal, age, muscle control (kegels!), and the sexual position. The fact is, if you’re with a woman who’s particularly wide or long down there, it has nothing to do with her height.

Also, protip: doing it missionary style with her legs on your shoulders will constrict both the length and width of her vagina. You’re welcome.

So what do you geeks think? Are you also into tall women? And ladygeeks, do you agree with my protips?

For more tips like this post, check out The Geek’s Guide to Getting the Girl.