I love sexually experienced women. They have a special place in my heart.
A woman with experience knows what she wants in bed, knows what she wants in a man, is open to trying things and, let’s face it, is great at what she does. I always tell myself that one day, when I decide to settle down, it’ll be with a woman that’s been around the block many, many times.
Think about it: knowing that you are going to have one woman for the rest of your life, would you want her to be sexually open, and willing to wear that Princess Leia outfit, or the woman that thinks birth control is the devil, and sex is only for procreation?
If you want the latter, get the fuck off my website. Come back only after you have done some serious soulsearching and self-reflection.
The thing is, there’s a crazy Middle Eastern belief that a man should only marry a virgin. It’s odd, because Arabic guys are expected to meet foreign girls, impure if you will, and fool around, then come back home and marry an Arabic virgin.
Um, pardon my french, but FUCK THAT SHIT.
It’s not just an Arabic sin. I’ve seen it many times in the last ten years of living in Montreal. Guys that are super promiscuous, getting laid on a regular basis, deciding “alright, it’s time to get married. I’m going to pick a nice girl, because she’s going to be the mother of my kids.”
Whoa. Madonna-whore complex much?
Like A Virgin
For those of you that aren’t in the know, fear not! Here’s a brief definition I legally stole off of Wikipedia:
In psychoanalytic literature, a Madonna–whore complex is the inability to maintain sexual arousal within a committed, loving relationship. First identified by Sigmund Freud, this psychological complex is said to develop in the human male when he sees all women not as individuals, but as either saintly Madonnas or debased prostitute-like personalities.
Yep, it’s pretty weird. Basically, many dudes suffer from this complex, where women are either sex objects (the whore), or saintly virgins and the future mother of their children (the Madonna, which by the way refers to the mother of Baby Jesus, not the super sexy singer).
Essentially, the dude that suffers from this puts women into two categories, and only gives himself one option for each.
He can start a family with a saint, who’s a good girl, and likes to do it missionary style two days a week, but only with the lights off, the pictures down, and when God isn’t watching, and only to make babies. Not so fun. In most cases, I can guarantee you that he is going to be miserable, and will probably end up cheating on her one day.
He can bone the totally debased whore, that will suck the pimp juice right out of him, and give him the best orgasms of his life, and likes all of his depraved fantasies (even the really freaky one that he doesn’t tell his friends about, with the cornucopia, two bits of string, a llama, and Pepto Bismol – you figure it out). But he can’t marry her, or start a family with her, because she’s too nasty in bed. Not so fun either.
The truth is that most women have a good bit of both in them. It’s what makes women awesome: however she is on the outside, you never know if you’re going to get the cat, the cougar, or the tigress in the bedroom. So why limit yourself to one or the other? You’re screwing yourself, and her (metaphorically) in the process.
Touched For The Very First Time
There are many dark undertones to why men want virgins, and why they want to marry “the good girl”.
Most of the time, it’s out of fear: they don’t want to be negatively compared to previous lovers.
“What if his dick is bigger than mine? Or he’s better in bed? What if he gave her something that I couldn’t?”
What they don’t realize, and this is important, is that if she’s been around the block, a woman of experience, she’ll pick him out of all the men she’s known, because he is the best one for her. In other words, she’ll choose him from a place of experience.
If she’s sexually experienced, she’ll also guide him to give her what she needs.
Early on in my sexual career, I had a lover who was way more experienced than I was. One day, she sat me down, and told me that she wanted me to go down on her more. When I did, she realized I had no idea what I was doing, and she basically gave me a play by play of how to give a woman oral sex.
Bless her soul, she made me the champion of the south that I am today.
Conversely, if a woman has never been with another man, if the only sex she’s ever known is with you, well, she’s choosing you out of ignorance. And buddy, you better watch out, because twenty years down the line, I’m betting she’s going to wonder what else is out there, and give it a whirl. Good fucking luck.
So what am I saying? In case you missed it, women don’t come in these two categories. You can easily have a woman that’s exceptionally pornstarlike in bed, and will make an amazing mother to your kids. In fact, I’d go so far as to say most women, with a little gentle nudging, will do that freaky thing you want to do (yep, even the Pepto Bismol part).
Now get out there and get with a girl. Don’t judge her based on past experience. The only thing that should matter is whether or not you like her.