A few months back, I was at a bar with some friends, and we were talking about girls.

One of the guys, an acquaintance, started ranting about how easy women had it. How come men have to hold doors? How come men are expected to buy women drinks? And so on.

He was really bitter about it. He kept ranting on and on about how unfair it was, how women were privileged and spoiled, and nagged at my ear until I couldn’t take it anymore.

I was annoyed to the point of excusing myself and going home, because this guy was too far gone into his rant and booze to make it worth it for me to interact with him. When I got home, I wondered at my strong response, and sat down to think about why I was affected so much by this idiot’s babbling.

I was surprised to discover something I didn’t like: he reminded me of myself, many years ago.


A Long Time Ago In My 20’s Far, Far Away

When I was in my early 20’s, dateless and going through life alone, I also felt bitter and resentful towards women. I got rejected a lot, I was lonely, and this frustration came out in the form of “women are all bitches, and only date losers.”

I played more and more videogames, and interacted less and less with women, in order to distance myself from the pain. After all, I thought, women aren’t going to date me anyway, so why should I even bother? I’ll just play games with my friends.

It was around this period that I started to play really competitive Tekken. I played every day, watched match videos, practiced combos, and attended tournaments. I strove to be the best, and constantly improved my game. I got better and better until one day, I realized I was winning all the tournaments in Canada.

All it takes to be good at fighting games, I discovered, is hard work, practice, and having fun along the way.

One day, after a fun session with some friends, one of the players who was constantly losing started to complain about the game. He was ranting about certain characters’ power level, and stages being uneven and random, and how certain moves shouldn’t be doing what they were doing, and how the game needed a patch because it sucked.

I came down hard on him then.

“You need to shut the fuck up and calm down man,” I said. “Nothing you’re saying matters, and you’re spreading negativity.”

He looked at me in shock.

“How is this ranting making a difference?” I continued. “The game isn’t going to change because you’re bitching. You’re not going to win more. You’re going to get mad for nothing, and on top of it all, you’re going to keep losing. You wanna win? Stop being a baby and practice. Don’t disrespect the time and effort we all put into this by saying you’d win more if the game were better.”

And then it hit me. What right did I have to judge him, when I was doing the exact same thing when it came to women?


Are you saying dating is… a game?

The very next day, I took a long, hard look at myself, and how I’d been feeling about women up until this point.

My friend was mad at my favorite videogame Tekken, and he never got better. He kept sucking at it and ranting at it, until he quit.

In parallel, I was mad at the dating game. I never got better either. I ranted at it, and got very bitter, and then I quit. Years had gone by since then, and I was still crap at dating, and single, and alone.

My ranting had gotten me nothing. I was still a n00b.

That was a major turning point for me in terms of my success with women. I had finally recognized that the problem wasn’t with the game, or with women, it was with me.

Bill Murray

I’m going to give you a piece of advice right now that is core to my beliefs when it comes to dating: being angry at women isn’t going to get you shit.

There’s a whole movement out there of men who are angry and bitter with women. It’s filled with literature about women’s privilege, and red pill men, and other silly shit that I don’t care about.

The problem with this type of thinking is it’s not making a difference in your life.

This anger isn’t giving you more success with women. Lashing out and call them “whores” and “bitches” isn’t getting you a date. Writing your angry posts online about the injustices of the world definitely is not helping you put your P in a V.

Use Your Geek Powers For Good

I’ve always said that geeks have all the skills it takes to get good with girls. I even wrote a post about the secret link between fighting games and meeting women.

When you play fighting games, the moment you lose your cool, the moment you get mad, is the moment you lose.

It’s the same with most things in life, including meeting women.

You lose, because getting mad is the sign that you’ve given up. It means you’d rather be angry and bitter, rather than try to figure out where you’re going wrong. It means you’d rather wallow in this crappy feeling, rather than look for a way to win.

And that’s just sad.

Here’s a thought: instead of getting mad? Be a boss, and learn the rules of the game.

Level up and win it. I mean, if you’re even a little bit of a gamer, you’ve definitely given thousands of hours of your life to improving at whatever games you’re into.

Dating is no different. It takes practice, and if you start now, you’ll be good before you know it.


And those people ranting about how unfair everything is?

Let them rant. They’ll still be the losers at the bar, afraid to talk to a girl, while you get out there and meet a woman who makes you happy.

37 comments add yours

  1. Rami — as usual, well done. You’ve got a keen eye for social/relationship nuance and many insights, to boot. I do beg to differ on some points.

    I’ll be the first to admit I’ve got some awkwardness and self-confidence issues, and that’s not going to go away anytime soon. I’m more introverted than most, and I often, though not always, bring books to bars in the hopes of finding someone who can share with my common interest.

    I’ve had wonderful experiences talking to women–not just while drinking– and I don’t hold it against them if they’re not attracted to me in the same way. And while I live in a progressive, artistic community with many people who claim to be into that sort of thing, I’m feeling pretty discouraged lately.

    Women often go out in groups, and that’s cool. It takes courage to approach and meet them in these settings, and I have done so, with sheer force of will. But there are many contingents of females who, after reading their daily dose of Jezebel, HuffPost, or some such site, take active pleasure in singling out guys like me and insulting them in every way possible. They notice I’m interested in one of them, and regardless of who

    There are those who will take what they can from your post(s) and use it to justify this kind of belittling and self-righteousness. They’ll project their own negative qualities onto this vulnerable, lonely young dude who just wants a little companionship with someone they’re attracted to (and who hopefully feels the same in turn).

    Why? Because it’s easier than confronting the responsibility that comes with all relationships, all interactions between the sexes. Gender angst and bitterness may be ugly things that we shouldn’t wallow in–but they’re not things that just fall out of the sky. There’s a certain collaboration between men and women that creates these misunderstandings.

    It’s not like I can’t take it. And it’s not like I’m exactly “bitter” towards women. I’m open to the fact that my attitude might be misplaced, that there is someone waiting to meet me who isn’t prostrate with heartache over some asshole, and who appreciates me as much as I appreciate her.

    I don’t believe it’s fair to blame certain guys for having a little residual bitterness when, after countless approaches–friendly and unthreatening–these She-Wolves descend on the man or pull their friend away before he gets something even resembling a “chance” with her. (The Men’s Rights movements and the red pill men you describe are another thing altogether. They’re really going off the deep end, but at least you can empathize the tiniest bit with those loonies, as wrong as they may be.)

    Everyone has an unhealthy relationship in their history, and everyone makes a few bad choices now and then. I just believe there a lot of women with the self-sustained bitterness you describe who are just waiting to pounce on a man, humiliate him, ridicule him, single him out. And I’m going to bet money that they are equal, if not greater, in number than the guy with a shitty attitude.

    I’ve never seen the opposite scenario, where a group of men gang up on a lone woman who approaches them. Maybe it happens from time to time, but not nearly as much. There’s been a major shift in the social/dating world that heaps contempt on the awkward male fool, who serves as a symbol of all the prejudices and bad behaviors many women claim not to have.

    But, in truth, this guy is no worse than any of these women if he feels angry towards them now and then. He’s just another victim of a culture that saddles everyone with unattainable expectations–like men having to be supremely self-confident, which very few people are, regardless of sex.

    Go ahead and reject the lone nice guy–but do you have to add insult to injury? Do you have to stigmatize them as manipulative, horribly insecure bastards that don’t deserve anyone? I’m not saying YOU are doing this, but there’s no shortage of women who do.

    A friend of mine once said “When you stop giving a shit, that’s when it happens.” Maybe he was right. I don’t know…

    Looking forward to reading more of your awesome posts,

    • Wow. That was an extremely well-written comment. Really really great. Thanks for contributing to the discussion Fritz.

      You make some valid points. Yes, some women go out with a chip on their shoulder, and unless you look like Brad Pitt, they’re going to reject you very harshly. I’ve had a girl scream “FUCK OFF CREEPER” at me after I approached her and said “hello”, and another say “you’re not worth shit, I can buy you, why are you talking to me?”

      These women do exist. They’re not very nice people. But just because they have a shitty attitude towards other human beings, it still doesn’t mean I condone my readers to have a shitty attitude too.

      Think of it as ripples in a pond: if a woman is having a shitty day, she might lash out at some innocent guy who talks to her. If he does the same, he’ll lash out at someone else he interacts with, and so on. He’s not going to be successful with a girl that night. No one wins.

      On the other hand, you approach a girl, and she spews some negativity at you, but you brush it off. Whatever garbage she’s dealing with in her life is not reflective of who you are, and you know that. So you push aside her bad vibes, and stay positive, and talk to the next girl with enthusiasm, expecting her to like you. Maybe she will, maybe she won’t, but your chances are way better than if you were pissed off from someone else and carrying the bad vibes over. Plus you’ll have more fun.

      I don’t blame geeks for getting bitter. I was one at one point, and I understand where it comes from. The reason I brought it up in this post was to tell you that there is nothing to gain from being bitter. You’ll only end up angry and alone, instead of happy and one step closer to meeting a girl you click with.

  2. I see what you mean. You’ve had some similar experiences. What I’m sensing, rightly or not, is that some of us bounce back more easily than others, and it’s harder for some to define ourselves outside a string of negative experiences because it’s become so familiar.

    Don’t necessarily know where I heard or read this, but young people who put off having sex and relationships, whatever their attitude may be, tend to be happier and more successful when they find a relationship later on. Perhaps it’s because they know themselves better, like you, and have a deeper appreciation for love (or lust) even when it doesn’t work out.

    I didn’t know you were from Montreal. Canada rocks!

  3. This was an excellent read. Here’s my take on this:

    First things first, I have this similar problem, but also with getting a job. You see, I recently graduated from College with a degree in Media & Communication Studies and I kept thinking to myself that I can do anything with this degree. Boy, I was wrong. I’ve been on several interviews, and end up getting rejected because I lack experience. It’s been 4 months since I graduated, and I am still paying the price to this day. And I’m starting to get bitter, come to think of it. That’s for another discussion.

    Now onto the topic itself: when it comes to women, I am terrible at hooking up with women. I would talk to them, and then not get the number or get rejected. Other times, I would have a negative mindset and say “Fuck it. This girl only dates guys with good looks and shit. I can’t compete with that.” That would result in being afraid to attempt talking/flirting with any woman I see.

    I did the same thing you did: play more video games (I play DOA competitively), and started talking less and less to women. As an added bonus, I’ve stopped going to clubs since I got sick and tired of the club life. I thought it would be a good idea to get away from all the pain as well.

    At times I felt like giving up, but I’m not gonna do that. Reading this made me realized the obvious: ranting about it. I already learned that ranting will never get me far. I mean I’m sitting at home feeling depressed.

    Sorry if I’m going all over the place with this, but like I said: great post!

    • Thanks for sharing your experience VK, I appreciate it. Like you said, ranting never gets you anywhere, so what’s the point?

      I see a lot of red pill blogs online that talk about “women having all the power”, or “men being subservient”, and all this crazy stuff. Truth is, dating is hard for everybody, men and women. Everybody gets rejected, everybody has a hard time.

      The beautiful people, born lucky and graced with Brad Pitt-like good looks, they get what they want most of the time.

      The people who rant, they give up and end up sad and alone.

      The fighters, the ones that work hard, and really give it a good shot and stay positive, those people end up with someone they’re happy with. You seem like a fighter. Don’t give up 🙂

    • Thanks man. Another thing I didn’t mention is that I had trust issues with society, so that explains why I was bitter about women as well.

  4. Any man who thinks a bar is a good place to meet wife/girlfriend material women is only fooling himself. Bars focus purely for a women to use men for either an ego trip (take his money and run) or bang them and decide the morning after weather or not to date them. (if she decides not to pursue things further this can leave the man a nervous shivering wreck at having his heart shattered into 6,567981 prices).

    Plus being in an environment where alcohol flows freely clouds judgement meaning the serial act is all irrational. Just like whatever “relationship” comes out of the dunk n dash session.

    And your “idiotic” mate is right – all women under 48 are whores. Spear me the PUA tips.

    Only a schmuck tries and gets pussy in bars

    • Welp, you’ve obviously made up your mind. But just because it doesn’t work for you, doesn’t mean it’s shitty advice for everyone else.

      I’ve hooked up with tons of women I met at bars. One of my best relationships (which lasted a year), was with a woman I met at a bar.

      From my point of view, you’re just an angry guy who didn’t get what he wanted, and refuses to play the game. I’ve got news for you: you’ve got to play the game if you want to score

      I’ll keep encouraging my readers to meet women at bars (or comiccon, wherever else they want to), and keep reading the hundreds of success stories I’ve gotten back from readers who’ve followed my advice.

      You keep dating women over 48, and keep trolling other websites.

  5. Well ya, mostly its mainly jealousy of them because women are not expected to be the initiators of dating and relationships, don’t have to approach and make the first move, obviously the cruel cold harsh fact of reality is that a shy, quiet, socially-awkward, introverted guy is going to struggle more than the other way around, those that disagree with that are delusional

    • Of course introverts struggle. They have to overcome huge hurdles if they want to make it with women. But the point here is that being jealous of women, or being bitter about the fact they don’t have to approach, is NOT going to solve your problem.

      You can be bitter all you want: the girl at the coffee house, who’s waiting for you to walk up to her, is going to give her number to someone else.

  6. I disagree.

    I’ve been desired by women my entire adolescence. Was never alone, been with a lot girls, could have a new one tonight if I wanted, and even I resent women.

    Being a mildly attractive woman in this country is disgustingly easy. It’s natural to be resentful of the entitled.

    • I looks like you’ve got a pretty good situation going. Women dig you.

      Have you thought about living that situation without resentment? Have you thought about how much better it would be to not feel bitter about them?

    • Acquiescence is probably at some level tantamount to endorsement. Such forums are visited by men and women alike, and some women copy tendencies they have observed in society, and in many instances, clueless of why, and the same could be said of guys. The more the cold truth is unveiled, the greater the chance that some might just get jolted out of their slumber, and perhaps act in ways that will help them thrive, rather than the torment of broken hearts in seriatim, and diminish the opiate that constitutes many peoples’ pipe dreams, and that have been force fed to them since childhood,and which often time remain unrealized in perpetuity.

    • There is a key point you are highlighting that a lot of the “proponents” are COMPLETELY missing. That because they have had some luck with the women, that those ill guided games, are cool or something, the join the wagon and hang in for the ride.That just about drops you right into the same lot of vanity.
      I’m not an alpha male, but I know how to use my own strengths to meet my objective, seeing through the poorly covered subterfuges and pretenses that play out, and the extreme hypocrisies purveyed., and that are really repulsive.

  7. A lot of this surmise is a bunch of baloney. .The women read from an invisible script that is superficial in essence and focus their energies on the “select few” who “got perspective” I think society has just screwed up and now we are to start playing games like babies with women. How often would you find some guy who initiated conversation with a woman, and rolling the eyes here and there like you are boring her and after a man who “got” perspective arrives she lights up giggles and proceeds to be all over him. If they were shown respect at the beginning of that conversation would you call that respectful? The vast majority of women spend their time chasing around “alpha males” maybe 80% of them and the alphas are maybe like 15% and pay little to no attention to the other 85%…..You just created a customized list of players. You say you want tall handsome confident yadi yadi ..you just delivered to the players 6 of you for 1 of the alpha…..That 1 in 6 guys has a very replaceable parade in front of him…and he will systematically bed then dump all but very few of you then you will say its “hard” to get a good man…Not sure if women grasp the fact that the quicker a man can get you; he more likely he will dump you even quicker ….Do you think any such man aka will “resist” the flocks of you and your fellow women after you have created him a free buffet…..Generally the majority of the men whom you more or less ignored? And do you not recognize you are his lunch and he will go hit another for dinner? Either you are caught up in the heat of things or love getting your heart broken….until the next 1 of 6 picks up from the previous and does the same exact thing…,.women are just as superf

    • From what you are saying, it sounds like you are very angry and bitter at women. Which is exactly what this article is about. So good job finding the right place to talk about it.

      The question you need to answer is this: is being bitter at women getting you women?

      I’m pretty sure it’s not, or you wouldn’t be bitter.

      So how about you change your approach? Try and understand that women are allowed to be interested in someone else. They’re allowed to like a guy “with perspective”, as you put it.

      Those guys have something that women find attractive, usually a mix of confidence, honesty, and success in life.

      Ask yourself another question: what do you have to offer a woman that she would find attractive? Not that you find attractive, that SHE would find attractive.

      If you don’t have anything, start working on that. If you do, push those attributes forwards when you talk to women. Also, just as there are women out there who like alpha males, there are also women out there who will be interested in you.

      Side note: there’s no such thing as an alpha male. People who have that leadership+confidence combo that describe as alpha only have it in certain situations. We’re all alpha in the right context, so you need to stop thinking in terms of alpha/beta.

      If you’re thinking of an alpha male at a club for example, you can become that same person by going out to the same club for weeks, making friends with everybody, and making sure the bartenders get to know you. BOOM! You’re alpha. Not very difficult.

    • I play a totally different game than you would, from the acts you described to almost the same effect but that doesn’t make all the acting, hypocrisy, and pretenses any less irritating. That’s because I see through the subterfuge that is created.
      No matter how much you preach it it comes down to “pretence” and pretenders are worse than murderers. Men “superficial”, “don’t respect women” yet those Alphas are the most disrespectful to the women, they conquer them, use them, and throw them in the trash. Or we have a new moral high ground where playing women is now respectful? Nobody said a woman is not allowed to accept or refuse this or that guy. Nobody. And neither does it alleviate saturation of oxymorons in effect. All these list of excuses that are fabricated to rationalize the “women’s choices” , is simply a moot attempt to run around the truth; the problems that plague a lot of women being played and broken over and over are created by THEM! They choose the guys who use superficial charm, them like crap, and then start funnelling the blame to every other man to “rationalize” their rejections, before sprinting into the arms of the next alpha, who delivers the exact same, yet expect the outcome to be different. What is the definition of madness? The foregoing might be a perfect one. A lot of covered in here is a very shady attempt to overlook the obvious.

  8. The bottom line is no matter how many men speak to the “beautiful women”, she still makes the same decision she would have.They are looking for specific personalities, the “alpha”, and generally you are either one or not. Pipe dreaming and acting won’t change your personality. The “alphas” are quite the minority amongst men, and the implications here are instructive; the vast number of ladies will channel their energies into a very “minor” group, regardless of who she talks to, and as such those personalities will get many women and break many hearts by design. It is that simple. If you have ever heard the maxim of the “grave that you dig for yourself and bask inside”; that is typically the end state.People will waste time and say all these millions of things and the truth will come right back to the above! If women used mindsets similar to the one used in game theory, and depicted in film The Beautiful Mind, but this time reverse the roles and posit the “women” and the “alpha males” in the respective roles, there would scarcely any, if a SINGLE player in the world. Players and Womanizers, or other the same difference, are all creations by women!

  9. At the end of the day I would be very curious, is it nature, the movies, or what feeds this vicious cycle that the vast of majority of the women, create in cohort with their “alpha male” fantasies. The men almost all of you fall for are the ones who use you, yet you completely ignore the huge problem you created for yourselves, then waste time trying to create excuses that “blame the other men”….Oh they are not confident in themselves, oh they are not charismatic etc. etc. ..Then you go back to one of the guys you rejected to look for a shoulder and tissues to cry on, and when the tears are dry, off to the next dose of the same thing. It would be of infinite joy to hear from one who could explicate the rationale here.

    • Let me see if I can repeat your point back to you.

      You’re saying “women date alphas, and then when the alpha eventually dumps them, they come to you and cry on your shoulder.”

      That is what you’re saying, yes?

      Ok. So let’s break it down.

      There are three flaws in that reasoning.

      First, there’s no such thing as an alpha male. It’s a fabrication. I don’t care what anyone says, there’s no one person that is an alpha male all the time. It doesn’t exist.

      Sure, you have guys that are confident in one situation like a club or bar, but no one is that same confident person in every aspect of their lives. NO ONE. In a club, the loud social guys is the popular one, but in a group of gamers, that same guy is at the bottom of the food chain.

      So you need to stop thinking in terms of alpha, asshole, bro, or whatever the word of the week is. It doesn’t exist. If it did, then everything I teach wouldn’t work. I have had hundreds of clients, and millions of readers, and I’ve changed thousands of lives. I KNOW what I’m talking about. Every single person I’ve coached is a geek of some kind, and every single one has ended up getting dates, getting laid, and often getting a girlfriend.

      They didn’t have to lie, pretend, or do any bullshit that you’re claiming. They just had to identify what it is that made them attractive, and put those aspects of themselves forwards.

      Second, women don’t date assholes, alphas, or whatever other random word you want to use. Women date men that have the qualities they want.

      Geek girls will date a guy that has geek hobbies, like cosplaying or comics. Club girls will look for a cool social guy that has lots of friends and likes to party. Fitness girls will date men that take care of themselves physically, do yoga and eat well.

      If the women around you are dating “alpha males” or assholes or whatever other word you want to use, then you’re either looking at the wrong type of woman for you, or you’re biased and not seeing what other characteristics they have that women want.

      My current girlfriend and I started dating because she found me funny. My previous girlfriend liked the fact that I could dance well. And the one before that was impressed when I met her at a club, she told me she was from Mexico, and I started speaking to her in fluent Spanish.

      I didn’t have to be “the alpha” or any other bullshit. There was no pretending, or pretences as you put it. I just had to be myself, present the best parts of myself up front, and know how to make conversation (which I learned to do btw, I wasn’t good at it “naturally”). In any given situation at a bar or club, I’m not the hottest, coolest, best-dressed guy. My looks are average at best, and I don’t own a single t-shirt that doesn’t have some kind of superhero on it.

      So. Women date men that have the characteristics they want. Which leads me to my final point.

      Third, you need to ask yourself one important question, that I ask all my clients: what characteristic do you have that would make a woman be interested in you? And I’m not asking this to be mean. I wonder if you genuinely know why a woman would be interested in you.

      Do you have a great passion for something (travel, gaming, etc)? Do you have a decent job? Are you funny? Are you a good talker? Do you dress well and groom well?

      You don’t need all of the above, they’re just a good place to start. I’d like you to identify what your strengths are as a human being, and play to those strengths. If you’re a quiet, introverted guy, then going to a nightclub where it’s crazy loud and talking to tipsy women won’t be good for you. Instead, meeting someone at a salsa class, or a happy hour after work drink, or some kind of hobby meetup, or even a dating app, these are much better locations for you.

      Ok, so I’ve made my arguments.

      You know I have lots of experience, readers, clients, and a girlfriend right now. I know what I’m doing. Are you going to take any of my advice? Or am I just wasting my time on my keyboard here?

      In the end, regardless of what you decide to do, I want you to think about this: instead of ranting about whatever injustice you think exists, spend time working on getting a goal.

      Ranting and bitterness won’t get you a woman. Trust me on this, it doesn’t. Why would a woman want a man that’s bitter about women?

  10. First and foremost, the ladies who are extremely beautiful, that are widely recognized as high 9s or 10s make good for good girlfriends, mistresses, and side kicks, and extremely unsuitable for marriage. And why so?
    First, as soon as you get married,any time you look left, some guy will be ogling her from the right, and multiply that by 10 times when she ventures out alone, and ummmmm one uncomfortable truth is that, unfortunately, y
    our charm is probably not as potent as a deep wallet, and men with deep wallet know that, so the temptations will be constant, and often than not …things will slide down fast!..
    Secondly, the cost needed to maintain the ladies who are the very apex of the beauty department does not come cheap at all, and unless she is very well off financially, you sure as hell better be, or else!!!! They are high maintenance. There is an unsettling reality here; at the very top, more often than not the “alpha” and “personality” factors are much less prominent than wealth-fact! If you want to test the theory go and research on those ladies at the very apex of society and look at who they marry. In society there might be chances that a decent number of alphas will do well, but towards the top, other factors come into play.
    An approach that makes much more sense for a guy on average, is game theory. With the exception of quite a small proportion of men, the vast majority will struggle more to sustain the more beautiful ladies, and note that I did not say, win over at first; meaning they might come with all the charm and sweep the lady off her feet, but after that “honey moon” stage, more concrete needs spring up, and much more so for the high maintenance ladies, and therefore things fall through soon or later. You will only survive past this phase if she is very well off or you can deliver the upkeep, then the curve wildly gyrates southwards, and exponentially so, for the rest.
    Game theory more likely to redress the imbalances that arise from so many men trying to chase after a modest number of elite beauties; further enhancing the chance that he highest bidder wins; simply put when 5 alphas come knocking and the fourth sustains the exorbitant costs of upkeep compared to other women, commonsense would probably take care of things.
    Thirdly, something pernicious confounds the mannerisms of a lady who garners too much attention since childhood; the personality factor may remain normal, but not for the majority, who get “spoilt” by all of this and can afford to whine and act out whatever feelings she feels like, because she gets away virtually always. On the obverse, there is an adjective that is ascribed to the below average beauty, or significantly above average weight; the answer to the question, “How is this lady Megan”; standard response, “she has a good personality”, and its almost rings true 99% of the time, because she does not get attention near that of the more beautiful ladies, and has to consciously give people a reason to like her; generally they make the best and most loyal wives. The man might not be bragging of how hot the wive is, but he will trumpet easily, that she is the best thing that ever happened to him, and the motivation behind his success; in this case I would rather select her and not get a heart attack at less than 50 for all the mayhem!

    • So you didn’t respond to anything I said. None of my advice, none of my arguments, nothing. You’re just ranting.

      Why are you here? Do you want to improve with women? Or do you just want to rant?

      Because at this point everything you’re writing is complete fabrications. It shows you don’t date, or have much experience with real women. You’re a keyboard warrior.

  11. Society has cause a huge deterioration in modesty for a lot of especially younger women. In a certain forum, some lady said something very unsettling, so you be the judge: “You know, I kinda hate it when men of low smv approach me, especially beta males”, and she feels “offended” if, even in good taste and with no perversions, a beta male compliments her, because “he is not in my league, plus it lowers the number of hot guys that willl approach me”…I’ve never seen worse narcissistic obnoxiousness..

  12. i’m posting again because I got a notification about new comments here, even though I experienced a milestone, breakthough in dating earlier this year, which i’m glad and still happy about, one thing I’ve noticed for a couple of years now, and it does kinda bother me, is that if a guy has any feelings of resentment or bitterness or hatred towards women, women will sense and pick up on it easily and be turned off, but the other way around, if a woman has these types of negative feelings towards men, a lot of men will still date her or hook up with her.

  13. wasn’t expecting to post here again but here I am due to notifications I got, but ya, it seems that men are supposed to love women but women don’t have to love us

  14. I’ll admit I was bitter because women would act scared or give me dirty looks. Now I just don’t give a fuck and talk to them regardless but I will ask does race matter?

  15. The thing I have found difficult is that I find it fairly straightforward (though not easy) to overcome shyness and talk to a woman and ask her out. I’ve been single since September and have asked out 5 women since then and all have said “yes that sounds nice etc… here’s my number” but actually getting them to commit to even meeting up is difficult in the extreme. Amy (no. 1): we went for a date where she was pretty distracted and she mentioned her ex’s. I felt a little like i was just there to massage her ego. after two months very occasional texting she says she’s going to try with her old boyfriend again. Masie (2) said “yes but I live a bit of a way away. Can we meet up next time I’m down” we text and write and send each other some great music swapping but she finds a bloke before her next visit down here. Moira number three. say yes and we text a bit keep missing each other and then never hear back from her. 4 Alice (basically the same as 2 but only the whole process takes a week, and 5 Laura same as 3 but I’ve given up after a few days. I’m pretty confident and don’t think I’m choosing women who are overly strung (apart from maybe number 1) or messy emotionally. I think the main thing is the above women are shy possibly and quite busy and put other things first. I’m 30 and have most of the things I want in life really apart from a loving companion and so that’s where I’m putting my energy. I seem to be picking ones that aren’t in that same place I spose. I do slightly worry that women my age are the bad ones left over from 20’s coupling but logic tells me this probably isn’t so.

  16. I’m not bitter or angry – I’m just smart enough to know that there is no way any woman would ever date me as long as there are other guys out there she can go out with, etc. I just don’t have what it takes to attract any woman as a potential sexual partner and that is a fact I have to live with forever. I have several single female friends but none of them ever mention dating to me – they know well there’s zero point in me even trying. If there was a single piece of evidence that any woman could find me attractive, I’d ask her out, but since rejection is always guaranteed, I never ask women out.

  17. You can’t get better at looks, past a certain point. Being ugly is like having only one hand to play your video games in the dating world. You can work really hard to get around it, really hard, and have better chances, but everyone knows what’s really going on.

    Humans are drawn to beauty. The creator is a sadistic child.

    Alternatively, we were born in the wrong time period. I suspect in a few centuries physical reconstruction will be a quick and painless procedure, like creating a character in an MMO. Then this article would make sense.

  18. I’m 37 and have never asked any woman out because doing so would result in rejection every time. I know this because no woman has ever shown any sexual interest in me whatsoever and every time I have smiled or said hello to a woman I find attractive and would like to get to know, I have been ignored or laughed at. No woman has ever approached me either. I have never kissed, held hands, or experienced any intimacy at all and feel this is to be the case forever.

    I am not angry at women at all – I’m just realistic. In the dating ‘game’, men compete against other men to be chosen by women as dates / mates. Since other guys are far more attractive than I could ever be, I will never be chosen. I do not go out (why bother since people just ignore me wherever I go), and would never post a picture of myself anywhere online (there are none currently) so online dating would be out of the question for me.

  19. This is a well written article and I know it was written 2 years ago at this point but I felt the need to comment. You’re not really helping anyone with this article. Most of the responses you’ve submitted to readers are just you calling them bitter. You never even really address why these men are bitter. You’re basically one of those kids who’s repose to everything is “get good lol”. The underlying problem is how men and women interact in the dating game. Dating is a game for women, not men. Everywhere you look there are articles and and videos telling men that if they’re not successful with women they basically have to change almost every aspect of themselves just to get a woman’s attention, while women do nothing but exist. Women put worth no effort and don’t have to deal with rejection. Think of the amount of times some of these guys (myself included) have just been used by a girl for a free meal, get zero replies on online dating sites and apps, and put on this whole facade just to even get the slightest bit of attention from a woman. Can you really blame them for being angry after the 25th time of getting absolutely no where? I certainly don’t. I already know what you’re reply is gonna be; something along the lines of “being bitter isn’t helping” which is 100% true, but not being bitter and “practicing” haven’t helped me either. If anything it hurt more than it helped. If men don’t want to deal with that rejection and pain anymore, why should they not be allowed to? Why do I have to rejected and lose the game over and over and over again while women basically win 100% of the time. I saw a comment on a somewhat similar article a few weeks ago. The comment read something along the lines of “Yeah you chase women your whole life that don’t want you, so after a while you just give up and settle for the ones that you aren’t into because there won’t be anything else.” While this is obviously a very negative way to feel, its pretty much spot on. Dating is a women’s game, stacked in favor of women. I’m not angry about it, as I’m sure a lot of men reading this aren’t either. It’s just how it is. There’s nothing wrong with acknowledging that’s it’s unfair. That’s not bitterness

  20. Some interesting comments here. I’d like to add that most of the men are talking about American women. I lived in Italy for 30 years where women are much kinder and compassionate. It makes a big difference.

  21. Why are you assuming I want to put the P into a V? I’ve discovered that life is much better when you cut women out of it. You’re not a loser because you don’t have a woman in your life – you’re a winner because you’ve figured out the secret to happiness. Don’t date, don’t flirt, don’t even talk to them. For heaven’s sake don’t have sex with one or marry one. Don’t let them infect your life. It’s true that they’re all trash, but don’t let them make you think you’re a loser or nerd because you don’t “have” one of them. You’re actually much better off, and it doesn’t matter what they think. Let them all die alone.

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