Ever notice how cool people never wait in line at clubs? So do I. It used to gall me a little at first. I mean, if a really hot girl got let into a club, I didn’t feel too bad, because if I was a bouncer, I’d let her in too. But for a random group of three guys to walk right by me and my friends, then swoop right into the club? THAT was annoying.
But then I examined the situation. I watched the “cool” people pass by me in the lineups. I checked their clothing, I observed their walk, I listened in (briefly) to their conversations. And you know what I discovered? They were merely slightly different from me, doing small variations of the things I did, but getting better results.
You know what gamers do, when other people do things better? We identify what the other person’s strat is, we copy it, and we one-up them if possible. It’s the only way to win.
And on that note…
4 Ways To Hack Nightclub Lines Like A Boss
1. Bring hot girls with you to the club. Now, I know this is unlikely (I mean, isn’t the whole point of going to a club to meet hot girls?), but bear with me for a moment. Hot girls don’t wait in line, and if you have more hot girls than guys, they can probably walk right up to the bouncer, flirt a little, and get you all in. Remember, you can cheat on this one by bringing girls that are friends or relatives. Is your sister hot? Bring her out to the club with you! Is your buddy’s girlfriend hot? Bring her out too!
Be warned, however: a bad guy/girl ratio will ruin this one. A decent ratio is defined as at least 40%, rounded down. Thus if you are a group of ten, 6 guys and 4 hot girls will get you in the club. With a group of 3, 2 guys and a girl works. Just don’t pull any funny stuff and bring a midget to fit your percentage. I don’t care how hot she is, it’s not going to help.
2. Look sharp. If you show up at a chic nightclub wearing converse, beat up jeans, and a Pac-Man tee, the bouncer might spit on you. If you show up wearing nice pants, a stylish jacket, leather shoes and a Pac-Man tee, the bouncer will probably high five you for your cool style.
3. Be respectful. Bouncers have to deal with drunks and irate people, and generally don’t have good nights. They do their job because it’s short hours and pays pretty well. Don’t make their lives harder than it already is by being mean or rude.
4. Bribe the bouncer. Seriously. I know some people think it’s an insult, but trust me, it’s not. Bouncers could use the extra cash, and if you want to skip a line of 50 people, slipping him a 10$ or 20$ per person in your group is probably going to get you what you want. If it hurts your tender sensibilities, don’t think of it as a bribe, but rather as a big tip.
Good Bribe Technique
Last year, I dated a great girl that loved to go clubbing and dancing
On her birthday, her roommates threw a small party at the apartment, and then dragged everyone out to a club. We pulled up in a limo, and were a group of 4 guys and 6 HOT girls. Unfortunately, the bouncer told us that the guestlist was already closed. While the girls huddled around trying to call a contact, I put 80$ in my palm, holding it in place with my 4th and 5th fingers.
I then walked confidently up to the bouncer, and put out my hand.
“Hey man,” I said, shaking the bouncer’s hand, and surreptitiously slipping him the cash. “Can you hook us up? I’m with these gorgeous ladies here, and three other guys.”
He flicked an eye at the cash I’d just given him, then looked at me and smiled.
“Sure bro, no problem. Just bring them all here and I’ll let them in.”
I walked back to my huddled up friends and said “I got us in, let’s go!”. Before anyone could get a word in edgewise, I grabbed two of the girls and dragged them back to the door. Within three minutes, I had gotten a group of 10 stragglers with no guestlist inside a packed club, passing a lineup of over 50 people.
Bad Bribe Technique
A couple of months ago, I took a friend of mine to this crappy club, on a touristy street in Montreal. There was a lineup of about 20 people outside. As usual, I walked past everyone with some cash in hand, ready to bribe the bouncer. When I got to him though, I noticed four guys huddled up right in front. One of them was telling his friends “C’mon man, hand over some cash, we gotta bribe the bouncer.” Two of the guys were reaching into their wallets and forking up some cash, and the third guy was debating whether or not it was worth it.
I took one look at these bozos, turned to my buddy and said “Dude, these guys are not getting in. They’re collecting cash right in front of the bouncer and everyone else. Not classy at all.” I glanced at the bouncer, and he was looking at these four guys and just shaking his head. I walked up to him, shook his hand, slipped him some cash, and got in. The four musketeers came up behind me and said “hey man, here’s a tip to get us in”. He ignored the money and asked them to move to the back of the line.
Needless to say, if you’re gonna bribe a bouncer, make sure you prep your cash ahead of time, and do it discreetly.
Alright guys, I’ve given you my info. You are now equipped to hack a nightclub line. I want you all to get out to a club this weekend and bypass some envious onlookers! Then come back here and tell me all about it, I’m curious to see how it works out for you. Also, do you have a better technique for bypassing lines? Post up! I’ll be more than happy to share it with everyone I know and test it out.