So you and the woman have been on some dates. They’ve been great, because she’s fun, and sexy, and laughs at all your jokes. You’ve touched a lot, you’ve made out a lot, and now you are both horny as hell.
You take her back to your place, and make out on the couch. Things are getting heated, electric, intense. You take her to the bedroom, you get her naked, and you have really, incredibly, powerfully… awkward sex. REALLY awkward sex. The weird kind where the only sound you hear is breathing, where you’re relieved when it’s finally over.
What the hell happened? Well buddy, it’s simple: you fucked up.
Where did I go wrong?
“I fucked up?” you ask. “How?”
You didn’t follow your desires.
You also watched too much TV. North American movies have really specific guidelines for dating: you get a girl’s number, you take her on a few dates, then you take her home. They have specific guidelines for sex: you put on passionate music, you kiss her gently, and you make sweet sweet romantic love all night long.
That sucks. Sex in Hollywood movies is garbage, and has nothing to do with real life. Think about it: if you had the choice, would you prefer to have slow, quiet sex, or grope, spank, bite, and fuck your partner really hard and loud? I’m guessing it’s the latter, and most people I know agree with me. Everyone prefers dirty messy fun sex.
So, back to your desires. When you get in bed with a woman, it’s your job, as a man, to take charge of the first time. Your job is to set the tone of the event, and follow through with it. Think about it: you asked her out, you took her to dinner, you invited her back to your place. She let you take charge of everything else, so why would the sex be different?
The thing with us geeks is that we enjoy the idea of a hot, tempting woman seducing us. We love the idea of Lara Croft from Tomb Raider coming into our lives and saying “I want you to fuck me really hard because you are the hottest man in the world.” Realistically though? Not gonna happen, at least not right away.
The first time a woman gets in your bed, she’s most probably going to follow your lead. Not because she’s weak, or doesn’t know what she’s doing, but rather because she’s unsure of you, and doesn’t want to fuck things up. So, you need to step up and do things right.
Here’s the golden rule for that first time with someone new:
Her behavior is going to be a reflection of yours. Thus, you need to do what you want to do, and not make a big deal out of things. Talk dirty, spank her, kiss her, bite her, let loose with your desires. In doing so, she’ll become more comfortable, and let loose with her own.
You want Lara Croft in your bed, instead of Princess Peach? Then you have to show her you can handle her sexuality. You do this by expressing your own, and being as uninhibited as possible.
If you’re quiet, and shy, and weird about getting messy, she’s probably going to sense that and feel odd about it too. If you’re hesitant, and don’t take off her bra, chances are she’s not going to take it off for you. On the other hand, if you laugh, and are playful, she’ll laugh with you. If you get loud, and moan, and talk dirty, she’ll probably scream, dig her nails into your back, and maybe think about busting out the handcuffs next time around.
Just remember one thing: she’s not going to do your job for you.
The next time you have dirty messy fun sex, do what you want to do. Don’t imitate Hollywood movies, don’t be quiet, and lead the way like you’re supposed to. I guarantee that she will have a great time, and so will you. The best part? She’ll feel so good about herself that she’ll probably be comfortable enough to lead when you do it again.
What about you guys? Do you lead that first time around? And for the women out there, do you agree/disagree with this? Finally, got any good/bad first time sex stories you wanna share? Please do! Leave a comment and tell me!